DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

 Of course, we are talking about family here! Without being told, one would discern that domestic violence has to do with bringing harm to people who are close to one either in form of relationship, family ties or contracts. The most popular form of contract in our society is marriage and when people get married, they are expected to live together in peace, raise children in a healthy environment (if they want to) and also contribute to the positive growth of the society as to be law-abiding citizens. If there is no peace in the family, then we are talking about violence and do you know what some people fear the most? It is divorce!

No matter how you see it, nobody wants to get a divorce except for those who went into the marriage institution for the feel. Yes, some people can go into marriages to know whether what people said about it is true or maybe, it is overrated. 

Funny enough, life is like that. Some people just want to get marriage to taste what other people have tasted. There is the will of god in marriage but only the spiritual people can understand it. 

Apart from that, everybody should marry based on purpose because not everybody is spiritual. Though, we believe God can still work in mysterious ways, it is good to follow instructions and make the Bible the basis of your understanding. When talking about purpose in life, we should understand that what comes into mind is to marry and when that purpose is defeated, malice comes in. of course, there are different outlets from marriages. One of them is separation which the church favours and the other is divorce which makes the couple to ultimately part ways but I think that is for the brave or those who have decided to call it a quit.

Be it as it may, I believe that the court has the procedure for that and you can meet a lawyer but most sources agree that divorce is most likely to be granted based on the presentation of a concrete evidence!

Today, marriage is something else! The marriages that people are supposed to be learning from are now top centres for malice and hate instead of love and togetherness. It is disheartening but something can be done!

On a personal note, violence is not good but people enjoy it when they are not the victims! They can even go as far as bribing top officials to have their way by endeavouring to misinterpret the law so as to work in their favour! This they do by showing the victim an upper hand in terms of finance, using lies and also paying the victim’s legal representative to speak in their favour or delay justice! Yes, such things are obtainable. Let us also note that domestic violence is a complicated subject because both men and women are into it. When you are talking about a husband beating his wife, you are also talking about a woman maltreating somebody’s child that live with her and as well, a wife showing her husband hell. There is also the possibility of a child suffering molestation from an adult but that is beyond the scope of this discourse yet it can lead to violence. 

Talking about divorce, disagreements are what lead to it but there are different ways of settling cases which can be done peacefully. Having said so, it can be made known that violence does not always have to be physical in form of beatings but it can also be verbal, psychological or emotional. Just watch out and be safe.

Going into a marriage contract has to do with a certain level of understanding, trust and maturity. Your husband or wife is not a business partner but a life partner that you can always get back to even after break ups but make sure that little misunderstandings do not lead to bearing of grudges but should be settled amicably. It is disheartening to know that bad news are coming from Christian homes! I don’t know how to reconcile with that but that is not in line with the gospel.

The ugly thing about marriage is that it is not everybody that is qualified to teach you about it except those who you are sure have something to offer in terms of examples, substance and character! So, in some cases, people are left to bear their burdens alone though, that is not always the best way out. No matter how ugly it sounds, speak up in readiness to be helped but always do that into the ears of the people you can trust. The reason is because if you share your sorrows in the midst of the people that hate you, they will frown at the fact that you are still alive. 

Let us not digress but not all marriages are of God. In spite of that, live well. It will not be a good thing to be made a bad example in the face of the community. So, when you sense matters arising, seek solutions on time. Let us not forget that marriage comes with responsibilities. When you get married, it is now your responsibility to clear your mind of grudges, to avoid malice by all means, to give explanations where needed, to jettison excuses, to provide for the family where needed and to forgive always!

Domestic violence has not come to stay! It is a menace that can be eliminated. There has not been any good thing that comes out from a violent man beating his wife or a deceitful woman putting her husband in bondage and all other such things and even when you try to bring up results that claim otherwise, it proves abortive! Let us make peace, it is better but peace has a price attached to it which can be paid on the altar of honesty. If you cannot be honest with your spouse, then we are not talking about marriage here but two adults living together!